something for your guys to poke at

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something for your guys to poke at

Postby Eleri » Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:45 pm

I was mulling about in my head the idea that human made ages are safe from the Bahro, but D'ni ages aren't. What if the war came, full fledged, to D'ni, while we were still there? What if we had to leave, and couldn't come back, because EARTH is a D'ni age?

That led to the following short fiction bit. Excuse any lousy writing :)


February 23rd

It has been several years since the DRC left the cavern looking for funding. Since Yeesha appeared to us and brought us news of the Bahro Shoraht, and the Bahro Nekisahl.

In all that time, we have not seen or heard from her. Not unusual for Yeesha, moreso because she was using herself, and Esher’s Bahro skin, as bait. She thought it would be days or months, it has been much longer. Like so often before, we were left to our own devices.

Many explorers left for the surface, never to return. Many of us hung on; tenacious, determined. Or maybe just insane. Who hangs around a dead civilization, anyhow?

It hasn’t been all a waste, though. The seed of the Guild of Writers has grown into a great thing, because they have managed to replicate the Art. We can link to other worlds.

At first their focus was on making small ages, for us to play around in, explore. Kethin is my favorite. Like the forest near where I grew up. But about a month ago, things changed. More and more Bahro were seen in the Cavern. Explorers were chased out of Teledahn by Bahro; Shoraht or Nekishal, we don’t know.

We met, all of us who remained, maybe 200, 300 people, and we talked, long into the night. We all agreed, the war was finally coming to our doorstep. After sifting through all that we’d learned, all that people had said, we came to the conclusion that an Age, never touched by the D’ni, would be safe from the Bahro.

So that’s what the Guild has been working on. An age for all of us to go to, if needed, something that can support a population of several hundred, for as long as we need to stay there. None of us expect to use it; if we need to abandon D’ni, we’ll head for the surface. But a backup plan is good. And the Guild is bouncy about writing something bigger.

I’ve read the notes, it’ll be great place. It’s homey, comfortable, beautiful. Combines some of the best wonders of the D’ni, with some of the best of Earth.

April 14

My God… my God…

We can only assume that Releeshan has fallen. The Bahro… linked through bodies. A warning from the Shoraht to flee? A warning from the Nekishal that we were next? No one knows. For most of us, our first glimpse of a (non-skeletal) full-blooded D’ni. And they were dead. Horribly dead.

A group of explorers decided enough was enough, and they were going home, to the surface. Stefen and Maica were amoung them. I’ve known them since the first explorers came to D’ni. Helped them plan their wedding in Kadish Tolesa. Sweetest couple ever.

Mai appeared in the cavern last night. Screaming, covered in blood. A Nekishal shown up in their house. Stef distracted it while she dived for her Relto book. It... it gutted him. She never had a chance to save him. She barely made it to Relto. She’s sleeping now, after a bottle of Jim Bean’s finest. It was the only sedative type thing any of us had.

Bahro on the surface, and they are hunting us. We’ve checked with some of the other explorers who left the cavern. The early ones, the ones who went after the DRC ditched, they are fine. But this last group, the news is bad. Stef is dead. So is Chris, he was found in his apartment. Jess and Aaron are missing. Sarah, Kati and John made it back here after we got a hold of them, but for John it was close. He heard Bahro cries as he was linking out. We haven’t been able to contact Lis, Maddy, Keith or Jason.

The only thing that we can come up with, the only thing that makes any twisted sense, is that we’ve been here too long. We’re ‘tainted’ by D’ni in the Nekishals’ eyes. And we are utterly powerless against them.

The Guild is racing to finish Asylum. Yes, it’s a goofy name. But it did originally mean refuge, sanctuary…and we thought “Y’know, we’re all a little crazy for hanging on this long, anyhow!” So Asylum it is. The strain is beginning to show.

April 20

I haven’t got long to write. They are here. A Shoraht appeared yesterday and said one single human word. “Flee.”

The last 24 hours have been frantic, linking our families through, some of them never even knew about D’ni, and now we’re telling them our time here has marked us for death? Some didn’t come. We home the Nekishal will spare them. We pray to every God we believe in that they will be ok, until we can come home.

They are fighting now, out over the city. The screams are deafening. And every death cry we hear sends knives into our hearts, because it means either one more Nekishal taken out, or one more Shoraht who has given their life to buy us time to run.

Andy just linked in…he’s been on recon in the city, hoping he wouldn’t be noticed. The Shoraht are falling. We leave now, or we die.

Bryan, all Gods hold him close, is staying behind, to destroy the Asylum linking book, hoping that’ll keep the Bahro, good or bad, from following. It’s suicide, and he knows it.

I’m leaving this journal behind, just in case someone ever comes looking for us. We love you. We will miss you. And we’ll come home someday.
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Re: something for your guys to poke at

Postby BAD » Mon Feb 25, 2008 4:50 pm

Not bad.

Reminds me a little of a steady cam movie, where everything is (supposedly) caught in real time.

I wonder if a promo for whatever this grows into could be created like that? :)
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Re: something for your guys to poke at

Postby Tobyas » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:37 pm

You could probably IC it a bit by claiming that the reason why is because the GoWs is using a different language to write Ages and the Bahro connection is non-existent for a non-D'ni/Yahvo based language. This way, Bahro could link to Asylum, but would be limited to only certain link it spots. Drawings and descriptions of the types of security systems set up at link it spots could add a lot of character to a fanfic like this (or if you ever want to create an age based on telling this story it would provide a deep amount of thematic ambiance).
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Re: something for your guys to poke at

Postby Eleri » Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:54 pm

BAD wrote:Reminds me a little of a steady cam movie, where everything is (supposedly) caught in real time.


Blair Witch Project meets Cloverfield meets D'ni, woohoo!

Sounds snazzy, as long as we don't have to pass out dramamine with the demo ;)

I think it would be interesting to create Asylum, in my head it has some specific things, like Dharma Initiative like barracks ( but no hatches!) specific areas for farming, livestock, stuff like that. It's almost like we colonizing a distant planet, with our resources limited to what we could link through or write into the age.

(Edit: It occurs to me that this might better fit into the storylines forum, if a mod could move it please)
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Re: something for your guys to poke at

Postby Chacal » Tue Feb 26, 2008 2:19 pm

This is excellent writing!
Cuuld be used as transition material, however in my opinion the whole bahro story in MOUL is so lame it should simply be ignored. It really felt like a frantic effort from Cyan to inject drama instead of content, due to insufficient resources.
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Re: something for your guys to poke at

Postby Zander » Tue Feb 26, 2008 2:36 pm

Agreed, Chacal. I think this new beginning, if it happens, would be a wonderful opportunity to just let it go away, since we can't do anything ourselves to improve it.

But that piece of Eleri's is really good writing, and it would be a shame to waste it...
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Re: something for your guys to poke at

Postby BAD » Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:29 pm

Successfully moved to Storytellers.

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Re: something for your guys to poke at

Postby Eleri » Tue Feb 26, 2008 9:09 pm

Chacal wrote:Could be used as transition material, however in my opinion the whole bahro story in MOUL is so lame it should simply be ignored.


I have visions of Yeesha coming along in the future, with Wheely, and going "Yeah, that Bahro thing? Well, that was just to see if you guys could create the Art under stress...sorry."
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Re: something for your guys to poke at

Postby Trylon » Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:49 pm

Heh, good one Eleri.

Adds "Oh, and to scare off Cate and the Don't Really Contribute ofcourse."
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Re: something for your guys to poke at

Postby Nynaveve » Wed Feb 27, 2008 3:42 pm

Trylon wrote:Heh, good one Eleri.

Adds "Oh, and to scare off Cate and the Don't Really Contribute ofcourse."


*snorts* Didn't take much, did it?

Good writing, Eleri. I was captivated. Wish it were longer. :D

I have to say, I like that transition... I feel it would be a good way to get rid of the Bahro in the future. They attacked, we left them behind, now you know why we're in Asylum, end of story.

The question is... what's the future like in Asylum if the Bahro are totally out of the storyline? What's the new drama? Did Cate come back to haunt us and try to put up adverts in Asylum? An angry mob chases her halfway across the Age and then she decides to resign. Oh wait, that already happened. :P
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