Having a new collision system for the avatar would indeed be very difficult (although that would be useful)
Also given that the Female avatar is shorter than the male make a gap so that the female avatar can pass but not the male
That's possible: You need to have two different collision meshes (one for each avatar) and you must write some proper Python code to detect the avatar and use the right collider accordingly.. Robert did that in his Shell and it worked perfectly.
As for the 'sideways' idea I don't know. It would be very cool but I'm clueless. Is it possible to limit the avatar movements to sideways through Python? Whithout hacking the main Python pak file (like the flymode)
Another problem with the current avatar collision scheme is that the collision mesh is slighty larger than the avatar.. So there are places where the avatar seem to fit it perfectly but it is blocked anyway.. They probably did this because of the arms animations, so that the collision mesh is large enough to encompass them and they don't go through the walls..
So there are places where you it's sometime useful to create separate collision meshes that are larger than the visual geometry for the avatar to fit in. For instance if your visual geometry is bellow the avatar arms. (like rocks or very low barriers/railings etc)